Tweets

  • parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
  • clock: 11:01
  • me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

gnarly:

Omg i was buying some shirts at forever 21 and the cashier was like arent u tumblr famous or something lmao i stayed quiet for like 5 seconds and i was like not really omg and she was like yah i follow u on instagram

Nice.

(via sex-thrill)

evaded:

If I text you first, you better appreciate that shit because I don’t do it for just anyone.

(via unitedstatesofdream)

canadianprimeminister:

gps: *says something*
everyone in car: *mocks gps pronunciation*

(via gnarly)

uhmeliamay:

i keep getting mistaken for kristen stewart and i don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult

(via pendents)